It is the 8th day since I have left home with my kids. I went to the house yesterday because he said I could come over and get some more of my stuff. So I did. He was very helpful and nice. I could see the pain in his eyes, which hurts me but I guess if there wasn't any pain it would hurt me more. He hugged and kissed me but it was wierd, not comfortable at all. I didn't stay long.

Today, Alex had to go and get dressy clothes for his band concert for tomorrow. I found myself packing a bag of chocolate covered raisens for Ruben to have tonight at work. I was not going to go in because of the akwardness, but Alex waved me to come in after he went in. Small conversation and much akwardness. But at least no fighting.

My worries of all this contact is that he has false hopes of me coming home. I am not going home. Right now I don't even want to work it out, but yet I find it hard for me to really want the divorce either. I do find myself being satisfied with the small time that I have spent and the house and leaving. It is not hard for me to leave.